Recent research indicates that we do 47% of our daily activities on auto-pilot!
And thank goodness too! For some things we do, having auto-pilot is a blessing in disguise.
Imagine if we had to think about some of the things our body does easily, and without us having to think about it, like breathing. Now imagine if you had to consciously tell your body to breath? We wouldn't have time to do anything else, considering we take in around 23,000 breaths a day!
And what about driving a car? A task that once seemed so difficult, most of us now do with little thought about what we are doing. Have you ever driven from A - B, and when you get to B, wonder how you did it? It seems we were so deep in thought, that the car almost drove itself their! Scary thought, right?
So let's look at where auto-pilot might not be working so well for you. How about in your intimate relationship?
Let me take you back to the early part of your relationship, and see if you recognise some of these:
Your heart would skip a beat when you heard their voice
You would engage deeply in their conversations and be curious about their day
You'd reach out to them during the day to let them know you were thinking about them
You'd buy them little gifts, or do special things for them
Their touch would set your skin on fire with desire
Do some of these sound familiar? How about now? Do you still do little things for them, or has all of that fallen by the way side, and you do things automatically, based on your routine?
Think about how you respond to them now in the following scenarios:
When they call to ask you something during the day
When they ask you how your day was
When they touch you or put their arm around you
Whey they come home after their days work
When you are eating a meal
When they express their concerns, desires or fears to you
Here is a challenge for you: over then next few days or weeks, monitor how you are responding to your partner, as well as how you are reaching out to them.
If you find that it's mostly on auto-pilot, here are some things you can add to your routine, so that you are giving love, and your partner is feeling loved.
Work out what their love language is (you can do a quick test by clicking here)
Buy a small gift for them occasionally
Pick up a pebble on your walk and give it to them - tell them it reminded you of them
Look your partner in the eyes when you greet them
Make a conscious effort to hug one or two times a day at least (8 is ideal!)
Kiss - long and passionately
Date each other, and DON'T talk about the kids, bills or routines
Flirt with each other
So, take the most intimate relationship you have off auto-pilot and become aware of how you treat each other, what you say to each other, how you touch each other, and how you interact with each other.